People don't like to see or here me complain. I need to be happy and healthy. I think I can fake happy, but not healthy

I still haven't figured out what job I can do now to earn money. I been banging my head against the wall. between the pain, spasm, sores and body shutdown all I can do is rely on my blog, pennies of income I earn isn't enough. I Go to Wound care Tomorrow. Its a tough job. People don't like to see or here me complain. I was the opposite of complaining before I was shot. I made things work. Now it's almost impossible to enjoy life. I have no hip joints to help me situp without causing so much pain. My business was my life. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now. Staying alive is my first goal then try to build, create something that makes me happy and wealthy. I'm back to starting with nothing, but with more obstacles and less time. Extreme spasms, sores and pain make it much harder. I don't know who will help push me up this time. I have no customers, unless my old customers remember me from: J.R. Lock and Key. I need to be happy and healthy to get a book deal. I think I can fake happy, but not healthy. Thank you Tom Arnold

Back to resting.